How Should I Respond When My Daughter Sins? The Six C’s That Will Change Your Perspective ~ Part 5

How Should I Respond When My Daughter Sins How Should I Respond When My Daughter Sins? The Six C’s That Will Change Your Perspective ~ Part 5

(Excerpt from Raising God’s Girl Chapter 5 “That’s My Girl? Walking Through Seasons of Disappointment and Pain)

It’s no wonder I am exhausted; I am surrounded by sinners all day long! And the worst part is that when I brush my teeth every morning, I look up and see the chief of sinners staring back at me from the mirror (1 Tim. 1:15). Life can be challenging, and parenting only increases the pressure and the stakes. In this series, we’ll look at some biblical qualities that can help us succeed in this adventure of Raising God’s Girl.

{To receive encouragement for the first “C” ~ COMPASSION, second “C” ~ CONVICTION, third “C”  ~ COMMITMENT and fourth “C” ~ CLEANSING, please see our previous blog posts. Now we are going to discuss the next “C” ~ CONFESSION.}

 Confession

One reason to be gracious to our daughters when they sin is this: we want them to be gracious to us when we sin! For although we are generally more mature than our daughters, there are certainly plenty of times that we sin against them. And what a joy and relief comes when we confess our sins, ask our daughters to forgive us, and they smile and throw their arms around us. “Yes, I forgive you!” Aren’t those beautiful words to hear?

A life of repenting to our daughters is honest and freeing – for them and for us. It models the truth of Christianity and creates an environment where we can all grow and flourish.

Sometimes, though, a culture of seeking forgiveness turns sour. It develops when the underlying message behind our repentance to our daughters is this: “I’ve failed again. I’m just going to fail and fail. Don’t expect much from me.”

This is not true repentance with the evidence of turning from our sins. This is an Eeyore style of parenting that holds no hope for change.

“Well, another year and I’m behind on your school records. Hopefully you’ll be able to graduate in spite of me.”

“I blew it again with my daughter. These are the things counseling will have to take care of.”

“Uh, no. I don’t get involved in all that girl stuff. I didn’t have any sisters growing up. I’m not good at it, so I just let my wife take care of it.”

“My daughter’s hanging out at her friend’s house again tonight. Poor thing; we’re just not fun parents.”

“I can’t do any better. My parents weren’t good role models.”

“I’m not a big talker. It’s just not my personality.”

There is a certain resignation in these statements and a reluctance to change. Not only is this missing out on the whole-hearted life God has called us to, but it also sends a dangerous message to our daughters when they hear us make these types of comments. My parents are just this way; I shouldn’t expect them to change.

This is so contrary to the truths of Scripture where we are exhorted to “…throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…” (Heb. 12:1, ESV). Let’s let our daughters see us throwing off what hinders us, growing in the Lord, and running hard. It’s very difficult to raise daughters for the Lord if we are sitting on the sidelines.

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